Food---is Fun

Oh Food--how I have had so many ins and outs with you with my dear little darlings. I had decided going directly against the grain to breastfeed Lilly--where this came from is beyond me since my family finds it..well lets just say none of them would consider it. Maybe, I was trying to prove something..I would be different..I would start out better..who knows, but Lilly was a ravanous eater. She would breastfeed for an hour at a time then take an hour off and then go again...lets just say by the end of two weeks I would flinch when she would latch..and I started to resent it..dred the feedings. So when she turned 2 weeks old I decided to stop. Switched her to formula..for one day. That day I cried and cried all day long for two days. I realized this was not what I wanted. I felt such guilt. So on the third day I tried to feed again, she was not having it. I had waited too long, so I thought it over and said "fine, I will pump". I would set little goals, 1 month, 6 weeks, 3 months..ect when it would get tough I would say just get through today. Well I managed to keep it up for 9 months. Then I was just done. The time, the carrying a pump with me wherever I went, I had hit my wall, but I think I gave it a good run. At 6 months Lilly started solids. I gave her the traditionally rice cereal for a couple days or so, she would have none of it. So after a week or so of trying different cereals I said forget it and jumped right into making baby food. Yes, I made all of Lillys baby food, she not once ate from a jar. Her first food was avacado and she loved it. She actually grabbed the spoon b/c we weren't moving fast enough (interject she loved to eat, and one time my mom came in to show her the new spoon she got her and she baby birded her mouth towards the spoon and just cried and cried when there was nothing on it, it was so cute and sad at the same time). We fed her all kinds of wonderful, different things..she was never much of a fan of sweet potatoes but she loved pumpkin, papaya was a no go--but I would say beets and spinach were her favorites. She wasn't much of a sweets baby--applesauce, no thanks--broccoli..give me some more. She had several mixes too which I am sure one we start making Ellas I will remake and document and remember what Lilly thought of it too. Oh and the colors..they were so pretty. I am actaully really excited about going through it again. Anyway, then we hit solid foods and she was in full time daycare (more on that some other time) and I had been sending her baby food with her, but then it was time for solids, and they daycare offered normal fair--for awhile I brought in all organic, healthier versions of the daycares food, but eventually I got lazy--and so has my home cooking as well. One of my goals for this year is to get us all back on a more natural path. I am aiming for when Ella turns 6 months--this way I can transition us all into wonderful fresh produce and natural meals together--forget cheap--I just need to budget better b/c I truelly believe the foods we eat make a difference on our minds and especially our bodies. So its coming, but I have other things right now (my new year was filled to the brim with must do's and I am checking them off one by one-I think thats why I am constantly in my head these days). At this point, Lillys favorites are fish sticks, pasta, cheese..oh but thank you God she still loves spinach. I used to buy these wonderful fruit bars called Odowalla bars that were packed with Omega 3's and she loved them..they were expensive but I wanted only healthy wonderful snacks..I am so hoping she will eat these again, b/c I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole and I want her to be more open then I am about food.
Ella--oh my sweet Ella how different you are (when I prayed to God how I wanted my children to be he gave me everything I asked for..some things I didn't but everything I asked for) I asked for a totally different baby from Lilly but still equally as wonderful--which I didn't know how that would work b/c I always thought Lilly fit Tom and I to a T. She was and is perfect for us. Ella though..she is so different. I was sure when I was pregnant with her that I wouldn't be able to breast feed long with her, and I refused to use the pump again, I just decided I wasn't going to be tied to a machine again. So then she came to me, and she sleeps and eats every couple hours, I was never engorged, she never hurt me. She doesn't eat so much that I feel like I need a break and can't get away from her. She does perfect as far as I am concerened with the feeding, and here we are 4 months in and still going strong, I never imagined I would actually be doing this, and I see out there..that it is possible, I could actually do this for a year..maybe. At this point it actually seems possible though. I never ever thought it was. I am so grateful for this..so so grateful. I just hope that all continues to run smoothly b/c so far so good.