Whats in a name

Naming my girls was hard. Before I got pregnant with Lilly I had a name all picked out Roxanne Paige--but after so many faces of horror that people just couldn't seem to hide I went sulking for another name. After months of searching and trying not to get anything too wierd or too popular I picked. Full name not to be disclosed..but its great. Then when I got pregnant again I "easily" thought of a boys name, but couldn't come up with a girls name. I was still hunting and pecking the day before we went into the hospital. Then I thought I found it. I thought I had the right name...I was wrong. After a couple months of using the name, I just knew it wasn't right. I sat down with Tom who agreed. We went to an old name, my grandmothers name actually (which we have always really liked but my mom had always made a face--I think b/c it is my dads mom, but who really knows). So we are currently in the process of legally changing her name. It is a process. It will most likely be at least another month maybe even longer before it goes through officially and I have to make a court appearance as well, but whats a little work to ensure someones NAME is right. I mean it is her name. And it is totally her name. I wish I would have just chosen the name right off, but it will be done. I even look at her sometimes and wonder who she looks like and a little bit of me thinks she looks like my grandmother (who passed away in 99). In a side bar at the end of her life I once went to dinner with her and my grandfather, and I thought had an epiphany that day...I have always thought my grandfather was the greatest, Funny as all get out, smart, kind..just a wonderful guy and she was nagging him..picking at him just so. After that day (which is part of the reason I didn't choose the name to begin with) I thought hey, maybe she isn't the nice grandma I thought she was...then she died...and that was what I thought of her. She wasn't as nice as I thought she was. I was still going to use her name to honor my grandfather, b.c he loved her so much..but I didn't think that seemed like enough. Then I thought about it..I am my grandmother and Tom is my grandfather. Tom is the best guy--I think the similarities between the two men are astounding when I think about it..then I think about me..and despite not wanting to be..I am a bit of a nag, a harper..I am not always the nicest wife..but like my grandfather with my grandmother my Tom loves me so much...I don't think I have ever been loved so much in all my life--I don't even think my parents love me this much. God and Tom are the two men in my life that love me so hard I never have to worry about that love stopping. That is how my grandfather loved my grandmother..then I realized something..she loved him like I love Tom..she watched out for him (always making chocolates he could eat, since I can't eat certain chocolates)... cooked him dinner, made him things, loved him..cared for him and about it. They loved each other..I now think her name couldn't be more perfect. Her name will always represent the love between two people that I never understood till I sat back and thought about the love I shared with my own husband and I realized you can't truelly understand the any two people share. Whats in a name? For Ella its the most perfect love I share with my husband the most perfect love I have seen through fresh eyes between two people that loved each other for years and years without fail.